I’m very desperately trying to buy a starmap for the nearby Alta sector. My business isn’t in Alta itself, but in the neighbouring sector which no doubt has some hugely unlikely name, one with no vowels and three y’s. The crappy engine I’ve bought for my ship can’t manage a jump direct to my destination, [...]

The moral of todays story is : To learn to tie your own shoelaces. Otherwise, you might fall and smash centuries of ancient history.
Just like this poor soul.
Shouldn’t laugh, but… oh, go on then, but not too much.

Dead Leaves is 44 minutes of non stop guns, explosions, guns, bodily functions and more guns.
In short, it’s awesome.
You get the feeling that Production IG just went mad and took a wheelbarrowful of LSD, then woke up in the afternoon and this was just sitting there.
Visually Dead Leaves is striking to say the least. It’s [...]

For the casual observer, there could be little funnier than watching me attempting to line dance. That’s right. Line dance. The feisty Kim, being a bit of a toe-tapping side-stepping kinda cowgal, got herself a line dance DVD and, like a fool, I agreed to have a go at it.

This is a notice to everyone really, but in particular it is aimed, with some venom I might add, at the man behind me in the queue at the shop just now.
Would everyone please be advised that if you are going to hum, please hum a tune. If you are to be found simply humming [...]

In order to bring balance to the cosmos I will be summarising some of Jackie Chan’s movies here on randomlinkage. However, it is impossible to review Chan movies in the traditional manner, as such I will simply comment on the entertainment value of the fights and set pieces.
Also it will help me to tell the [...]

I am proud to say that I have never, in all my days, eaten any form of produce from the fast food chain KFC. There’s no real reason for this, I’m sure that the Colonel’s tasty crispy coating is delicious, I’ve just never sampled it. I’ve never even been inside a KFC premises, the sparkling, [...]

Gargh.
*shakes head*
*walks off, grumbling*

Many surnames originate from the tasks that villagers and townspeople performed. For example, someone who prepared cuts of meat would adopt the surname Mr Butcher, someone who toiled in the fields would be known as Mr Farmer, the lady who made clothes would take the name Ms Tailor. This is a fairly established fact.
So, bearing in mind the above, [...]

The link below will take you to a picture that is quite amazing and yet disturbing at the same time. It’s of a one-eyed, no-nosed kitten. Fortunately, it won’t be mutating further into some Kong-esque monstrosity as it died after a single day of being alive. Poor thing.
Click here for imagery.
I swear, if you look [...]

(to the musical twangs of the Hart to Hart theme)
Max: This is my boss, penge, a self-made millionaire. He’s quite a guy. This is trench, he’s gorgeous. He’s one guy who knows how to take care of himself. By the way, my name is Max. I take care of both of them, which ain’t [...]

The BBC are probably the world’s most important media network. It’s their job to cover the big news events that shape our world. Accordingly, this week they’re asking the question…
Are women jogging their way to saggy breasts?
I’m actually quite angry that neither myself or Mr Penge were consulted for this study. Surely our extensive knowledge [...]

If you haven’t seen the film Ghostbusters, then you obviously live under a bridge. In it, the Ghostbusters are asked to choose the form of the Destructor, an evil being that will take the guise of whatever they think of and then destroy all of mankind. In the end, one of the Ghostbusters thinks of the [...]

A televisual ‘heads up’ courtesy of site-friend Col. Orange. He faithfully reports that TV film buff, and all round general twat, Jonathan Ross is hosting a new series on Asian cinema starting tomorrow. Sadly it’s on BBC4, (the crap artsy one that shows lots of operas), which means anyone without a digibox is stuffed quite [...]

Quick question. Does “Laser Eye Surgery” actually give you laser eyes? If so then sign me up, a career as an evil maniacal eye-beamed supervillain awaits me.