As Kang might say, Holy Flurking Schnit!
Flash Gordon (Silver Anniversary Edition) in October
“Most effective your majesty!”

I was thinking today, but don’t worry, I was sitting down. It was a relatively quiet day and whilst eating lunch I was able to absent-mindedly think about random tat. I didn’t document my thought path, but it eventually ended up at Mission : Impossible. More particularly, the tape message that relayed the mission to [...]

There’s absolutely nothing worse than when the people in charge just don’t get it.
I don’t know why you would want the original voice over actors.
Tw*t.

Exfoliating products – Soap with grit in.
Surely created as some cruel practical joke by all the big pharmaceutical companies, you can now buy a whole range of exfoliating things, from face washes and shower gel to flannels and even a purpose-designed exfoliating glove. Supposed to remove all the dead skin and dirt and whatever from [...]

In this earth-shattering, ground-breaking, nearly universe-collapsing piece of epic news, the world is informed that the Mayor of Northampton has had some onions stolen from her allotment. Trust me, this is one news story you’ll want to read, it’s hit the people-who-grow-onions-in-allotments community very hard indeed.
The Mayor herself said “It is a great shame and [...]

This film is loads better than the trailer suggests. Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, (in particular Vaughn), just power through on sheer insane comedy delivery powers.
Gets huge bonus points for a cameo that got a gasp from three grown men and a puzzled “who’s that?” from a women in the row behind.
“Ma! Meatloaf! Fuck!”
A strong [...]

War of the Worlds is Independance Day’s older, more hardcore brother. The one that comes home whilst it’s sleeping and shits all over it’s face before robbing it.
It’s that hardcore.
Shame some parts of the plot are a bit daft and the middle section of the film drags so much. Also if you are even vaguely [...]

Seriously, I am apologising for the apalling nature of this thankfully brief entry beforehand. So don’t say you weren’t warned.
One conversation in Prague reminded me why blokes are so utterly sick in the head, and accordingly why their drunk ramblings are brilliantly entertaining.
(names are omitted to protect the guilty parties, and because I’ve been drunk [...]

Walking home today and I happened to stroll past a bus stop. At the bus stop was a school bus and the kids were streaming off the bus in their thousands. Off they poured, all probably around 8 or 9 perhaps, around that age. I walked through the mob, resisting the urge to leg some [...]

For your reading displeasure, and to add to our global knowledge base, I shall now advise you readers of Things In The Czech Republic That Are Different To The Equivilant Things Here In The UK.
Or T.I.T.C.R.T.A.D.T.T.E.T.H.I.T.U. for short. Punchy.

This will have terrifying and unforseen consequences. Mark my words.

Prague is a beautiful, historic city with many stunning sights for you to coo at.
Prague is also a verminous den of sin, frequented chiefly by British stag parties keen to have some consequence free ‘fun’.
Prague it seems is the Harvey Dent of European cities.
Wander around picturesque Old Town Square in Prague in a group of [...]

Joyous celebrations were the name of the game earlier as I triumphed in my challenge to not drink a cup of tea for an entire working week. I awoke early saturday morning and scrambled down the stairs. A mug, with sugar, spoon and all-important teabag were in place, ready for the milk and the hot [...]

Day five. And it’s all gone a bit mad. It’s difficult to describe, but I really am, genuinely, impulsively, craving tea. I keep thinking about how fantastic it’ll be to actually drink some tea tomorrow morning. Just sitting back in my chair, bringing the mug up to my mouth and intaking the tasty tea. I [...]

Everything tea is fine tea. My cravings tea are tea not tea getting tea the better tea of tea and things tea could not tea better. I haven’t tea even thought about tea the tea forbidden tea drink tea. Nope, not one bit.