Public Service Announcement: When in a large, echoey, public stairwell, do not try to sneak out a little trump. There is a chance that the trump may be noisier than expected and that it will echo off the echoey walls, alerting other stairwell users to your parping misdemeanours.
Who will then look at you in some [...]

I heard an incredible lie the other day. Breath-taking. It was remarkable for being such an obvious lie but also being impressive in it’s delivery.
I was walking home the other day and approached my lovely house. In the street at the front of the house were some of the local kids. It’s a cul-de-sac street, [...]

Whilst walking home the other day, I spied a funeral procession coming down the road on it’s way to the nearby crematorium. There was the standard front car, with the coffin within it, and then a few trailing cars containing the relatives. All pretty normal there.
In an attempt to not look glib and excessively jolly [...]

Best overheard conversation on the train between two “OK, yah, that’s well great Tarquin!” type city gents this week:
Gent 1: I was going to have Rice Crispies this morning but I knocked my bowl of them onto the floor.
Gent 2: So it was like Snap, Crackle and DROP?
Discuss.

Family Packs of things are relatively common these days. You know what I mean by Family Packs; they’re generally big collections of things that can also be purchased in the singular.
A quick walk round the local Tesco (other supermarkets are available) revealed there to be family packs of Coca Cola cans, Cadbury Twirls, Haribo, Monster Munch and [...]

We’re going to have a bit of a ‘first’ here on Randomlinkage today. Though it pains me to do it, I am going to put the power of choice into the hands of you, our delightfully tasteful and excellent readers.
I have lovingly crafted two posts regarding some Mysterious Messages (yes, they deserve capitalisation, such is [...]

Earlier in the year, someone kept leaving Mysterious Messages on yellow Post-Its on my desk at work. Here’s the first one…

My workplace is, I’ll be honest, pretty ordinary. I’m not about to tell you exactly what I do for a living because that would be daft but believe me when I say that I am not a fighter pilot, a motor racing driver or a brothel madam. I do something relatively calm and pleasant, surrounded by [...]

The other day, I was going about my normal daily duties when my phone buzzed around a bit. I checked it and was informed that I had received one of them there ‘text messages’. I unlocked my phone and saw that this message of the textual format was from my lovely wife, The Feisty Kim.
“Well [...]

In my older years, I am finding myself demonstrating anger and annoyance at a greater number of things. I’m sure it’s a very logical equation, the number of things that irritate you is somehow directly proportionate to the number of years of your age or something.
One thing that stands out from the myriad of trivial annoyances [...]

Aah summer. The sun is out, the wasps are out, the nation’s skin is burning into that lovely scorched red colour and hundreds of people are being poisoned by undercooked barbeque sausages. Got to love summertime.
Alas, my summers are being degraded a little by a most unlikely source, someone who should bring joy unto the [...]

Recently, myself and The Feisty Kim were outdoors, out in the open world, walking towards our car. All was well, everything was fine, but then I heard a noise, a sort of low, bassy, rumbling sort of noise. As we walked it got a bit louder and my eyes were soon drawn upwards, upwards to [...]

Whilst out and indeed about in Northampton recently, I heard a parent say the following to their child who was waiting to cross the road and had their feet on the road itself, rather than the pavement:
Jake, if you don’t step back I will smack your… whole head!
Not just some of his head, not a [...]

Aah, Northampton. A sleepy town in the heart of England. Famous for shoes, the Saints rugby club and that big tall concrete tower that people believe is a ‘lift testing tower’ but it’s very obviously an alien transmitter beacon. It doesn’t sound overly exciting, does it?
But halt your crazy thoughts there, because Northampton has some [...]

Once again it’s time for me to plonk my old-man hat firmly onto my head and bemoan a modern piece of music. I could have used phrases such as “It’s not like it was in my day”, “Ooh what a racket!” or “Well there’s just no tune”, but today I’m going to be brief, direct [...]